I contemplated posting this, because this was only a therapeutic exercise for myself, not intended for other people to read. Ultimately I decided to share it because I know other people experience the same thing and I hope that maybe this can help them. I became a health coach to help people and sometimes, actually a lot of the times, that means willing to be extremely vulnerable.
I hope that this speaks to you in someway, as it did to me.
I’m not perfect. Tonight I ate way too much. I wasn’t hungry. I was eating from a place of boredom, sadness and a destructive desire to feel out of control. I’m going to bed feeling bloated and uncomfortable and disgusted by my actions.
As these thoughts are circling in my mind, creating a palpable negative energy, it occurred to me. My boyfriend and I have a rule that keeps our relationship strong, positive, and flourishing. We never go to sleep angry. Why is that we treat the relationships with those we love with such respect but we cannot do the same for the most important relationship in our lives, that with ourselves.
I want to try a day of treating myself with the same love and respect that I give to others. I deserve it. So I am making a vow. I will not go to bed angry with myself.
I am human. I make errors. I will only grow stronger by learning from my mistakes, but I have to let myself. So tonight I overate. Instead of berating myself as I fall asleep, I want to apologize to myself for abusing my body and know that tomorrow is a new day and I will not repeat these mistakes.
Sarah, I love you. Good night x